Reluctant debutante? Probably a misnomer…

Every business owner faces rejection on a regular basis. The way you face that rejection will both sap your energy and whittle away at your confidence … or it will place you in a position that remains powerful and protected.

I’ve often been credited with (or is it accused of) playing the role of the reluctant debutante when I recruit new clients or discuss renewal with existing clients, who make an annual decision about whether they want to continue enlisting my services. The essence of a reluctant debutante is to realize, and truly feel, that the client needs what you have more than you need them to buy it.

It’s based on the assumption that if I don’t care what their decision is, then I don’t suffer any loss. The attitude can come across as arrogant, so I have been forced to be very clear in my exit interviews with non-renewing clients. For example, when one of my female clients took a hiatus (which is often a euphemism for inadequate cash flow), I said, “while I respect your choice, I don’t like it, and all of us … you, I and the group will suffer from your absence. So, there will always be a spot waiting for you”.

Actually, the state of mind that I create within myself is one of “indifference” regarding the outcome, which allows my focus to be on the process alone. It relieves me of emotional attachment, which enhances my negotiating ability. Furthermore, in the prior example, I wasn’t getting paid anyway, so the loss was mitigated.

A helpful reminder is the little-used second verse of… “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. After all, while it’s your water, it’s his thirst.”

In other words, a client’s choice about whether to buy my service is almost always a function of his current situation, usually cash flow, and hardly ever about my service. Again, in the prior example, the client returned within 18 months, and all is well.

So, why get all wigged out when she decides to wait until it’s comfortable?