The good humor and deep wisdom that is dispensed at Inner Circle meetings is worth capturing and revisiting occasionally. Where else would you hear a great tidbits like this? “Top line revenue is crack to an entrepreneur.” Share your own favorites.
What’s your favorite quote from an Inner Circle meeting?
There are a lot of things they don’t tell you in business school about running your own business. Probably because they don’t want to scare you off.
There’s a lot of talk about needing to have marketing talent, financial savvy, an analytical mind and brilliant negotiation skills. What they don’t tell you is that most of all, you’re going to need a bottomless supply of courage.
When you start a company, if you’re like most, you feel like you’re walking off a cliff. You’re doing something you believe in, but that you’ve never done before. The unknown is scary, deep and, well, unknown. After a while, you get more comfortable as you successfully overcome obstacles and grow. Then, you hit a situation that is new — a transition to the next step of the business — like hiring a management team, opening a new location, or entering a new markets.
Then you realize, “walking off the cliff” the first time was only the beginning. There are many more stomach-in-your-throat moments to face.
Standing on the edge of a cliff, especially after you’ve survived the original leap, can be a very dangerous time. You might shy away from taking new risks because, unlike the situation at the beginning, you may have much more to lose now if you are wrong. Or, you know how to run the business as it is, but not how to run it as it will be.
Most companies cannot stay where they are; the force to grow is pulls at them like the tide pulls out the moon. So, the new “walk off the cliff” has to be taken at each transition point.
Author Barry J. Moltz sums it up in the title of his book, You Need to Be a Little Crazy: The Truth About Starting and Growing Your Own Business. He says, you not only need courage, you actually need to be a lunatic. “You need to be a lunatic who has a steadfast long-term belief in her vision — a lunatic who will try anything, ask anyone for everything, and see everyone as a source of help. You also need to be comfortable being alone in your beliefs because the only thing others will agree with you on is that you are indeed crazy.”
Only someone who is crazy, and courageous, and an occasional cliff jumper can survive the challenges and transitions that a business brings.
So much exhaustion, pain and resentment can come from wishing things to be different than they are. You want your spouse to do things exactly as you think they should be done. You want your work/career to always follow a specifically defined path that you have created in your mind. You want your children or your employees to be a certain way, behave a certain way.
It is critical that you watch your attempts to will something to happen or to will someone to fit a specific mold of your design. This version of your will comes from your head. It does not come from a heart-connected vision. It’s an idea you made up in your mind; a way you think it should be. You are driving the idea willfully – “I’m in charge. It will happen according to my time line; according to the specific way I think it should be. I know my way is right.”
When effort enters it should become a big red alert with flashing lights that you are trying to push through an idea instead of following energy and flow. Willful is a push; following energy is a dance. Willful involves struggle, effort, and exhaustion. Following energy involves fun, grace and ease.
If you are expelling effort every day toward some ideal goal you have set, or toward having your spouse act according to your ideal plans, and it drains you, exhausts you, then each day can be a temperamental attack on your self and those you love. This willful push to direct your life is-self defeating and it doesn’t work.
Abraham Hicks says, “Tell everyone you know: ‘My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.’ Then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they are doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel – and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.”
When you find yourself efforting, it is important to change your focus to more energizing actions and behaviors, not should-do, exhausting, cranky-making chores. Give up control and find something to focus on that brings energy and flow into the moment. It can be anything that fires your heart, tickles your fancy, makes you laugh, and attracts flow into this moment.
Energetic flow equals joy. Willful struggle equals cranky. Your choice.
“Well, the good new is that I’ve hit bottom.” It was an ironic and honest way to start a conversation.
Facing some glum numbers in her business and, unjustifiably, feeling like it was all her doing, my dear friend was believing that the heavens were sending her a message: “You’re not fit to run this company. Step away from the corner office, the gold nameplate and the CEO title and nobody else gets hurt.”
Good gravy. Who hasn’t heard that tiny voice whispering in their ear before? And who hasn’t been tempted to surrender?
The truly good news was that several voices in the group meeting joined together in such a cacophony as to completely drown out that most un-heavenly message. She is fit to run the company. Did she have the desire to run it? That’s an entirely different question.
What was most interesting in the conversation was that it was clear this CEO felt she had just two choices: stay in the role or replace herself, and soon. That felt familiar too. The desire for closure and answers can pull on us so strongly that sometimes we’re draw to solutions simply because they’re fast and concrete. The group encouraged her to explore Plan B and from there even a Plan C, Plan D and more.
I was recently exposed to a lovely and useful metaphor that gave me a fresh way to frame this issue. It was time for that woman to FLIRT!
Adam Phillips, a British psychoanalyst, uses flirtation as a metaphor for playing with ideas and options, but not getting married, so to speak, to them. Flirtation encourages flexibility; it embraces playfulness. It calls for a mindset of exploring an issue as if it were brand new to you — letting your curiosity flow in that special way that it does on a really good first date.
As Phillips says, "Flirtation keeps things in play, and by doing so lets us get to know them in different ways."
For the CEO, it might mean giving up portions of her job, trying new leadership tactics, hiring a personal coach, or making adjustments to her management team. It could mean a LOT of things that fall far short of her actually stepping down from her role.
Flirtation is about experimenting with reversible options — smaller exploratory choices — not committing too quickly to what might be life-changing, over-earnest decisions. And it frees you up to take a bit of delight and pleasure in the uncertainty.
Is there a decision in your life or business that is would benefit from a flirtatious approach?
I know they say you should never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry. I hope it’s OK to blog!
I’ve been daydreaming about a favorite ice cream shop where they offer every customer a Ziggy. You order your cone exactly as you want it, but they go one step further in serving it to you. Using a melon-baller-size scoop, they add just a little bit more to the top, a Ziggy. You can have one extra bite of your favorite, vanilla on top of vanilla for those who like to keep it simple, or you can satisfy your taste for that runner-up flavor that didn’t get picked this time as the main attraction —Mint Chocolate Chip on top of Elephant Tracks (peanut butter cups in chocolate ice cream), for example. Hypothetically, of course.
It small. It’s simple. It’s cheap. It’s fun. And it creates an experience —one that gets talked about, one that creates fondness and solidifies customer loyalty.
Well. That got me thinking about the barber shop that offers a coupon for a free tap beer at the pub next door with every purchase of a buzz cut, the landscape shop that always has fresh popcorn popping and the restaurant that brings Bazooka Joe bubble gum to the table at the end of the meal. Each creates the same result. Of course, nobody’s going to get a bad hair cut in exchange for a free beer (well, with a few exceptions). But, all things being equal, why wouldn’t you do business with the entrepreneur who adds a Ziggy to the mix?
So what’s your Ziggy?
You don’t need to be a retailer to have one. And, though all of the examples I've provided so far may be driven by my dropping blood sugar, a Ziggy doesn't have to be something you can eat.
Hosting a customer appreciation party at the local bowling alley is a Ziggy. Mailing valentine cards to everyone on your client list is a Ziggy. In fact, your Ziggy doesn’t even need to be a physical thing. You can attract or retain new clients because they find YOU compelling; you add a touch of fun or novelty to the transaction.
Here’s food for thought: Whenever, and however, you add value for the sheer joy of it, people will naturally be attracted to you and to your business. Get Ziggy with that!
Business owners seem to know that the idea of sharing results and outcomes is a no-brainer for building a productive and motivated team. Without clear feedback that tells them if their actions are creating the right results, employees may feel like their fumbling around in the dark. It’s like trying to scratch the itch on somebody else’s back without the benefit of any “a-little-to-the-left-now-up-a-bit-yes-there-there-there” guiding statements. You’re bound to hit the spot by sheer luck eventually, but, really, why make it harder than it needs to be?
Still, many business owners are reticent to share financials, productivity numbers or bad news with their staff. Fear, defensiveness and a desire for privacy can all stand in the way. Here are a couple of things to think about if you tend to hold onto information tightly.
Open Books Can Have Closed Chapters: Some consultants might say “open book management” requires you to pull all the dirty laundry and skeletons out of the closet. I say – you define open. So you don’t want to disclose your personal salary or the fact that the company pays for your newspaper subscription? Then don’t. Better to pick and choose what you want to hold confidential than to universally keep it all under wraps. Open book management is not an all or nothing deal and something is always better than nothing.
Negative Information Can Motivate Employees: Of course, it’s always easier and more fun to share positive information. But maintaining a cool façade and putting on a happy smile when you’re uncertain how you’re going to meet payroll in the coming months does a disservice to you and your employees. When things are not going well, ignoring the facts doesn’t help you gain ground. In fact, employees are likely to drift into denial if the unpleasant reality isn’t spelled out clearly for them.
Larry Bossidy, former chairman of AlliedSignal, describes what he calls the Burning Platform Syndrome. When a company is in trouble, it is like an offshore drilling platform that catches fire. People need to take action quickly, and they do, because they smell the smoke, hear the explosion, see the flames. In a business crisis, employees are often unaware of the pending danger. You can’t act as though everything is peachy and expect them to pick up on the fact that, in reality, every fiber of your body is screaming for them to jump in and help you turn the ship around. Sometimes you have to paint a picture of flames and destruction, disclose the exact location of the itch that is driving you to distraction.
People Will Fill in the Blanks: People automatically fill in the blanks in what they do know with negative information. Human nature draws people to worst-case-scenarios. Whatever you’re paying yourself, your employees will assume it’s more. If you’ve lost a major client, employees will assume there are another half-dozen about to walk away soon. If one employee has been let go, they’re likely to assume they may be on the chopping block next. When left in the dark, people imagine monsters.
The reality is, your staff generally knows more than you think already, and what they don’t know factually they are likely to fill in with fiction. Painting a clear picture of your company’s current reality —good, bad or ugly — is the only way to control the accuracy of the message and to influence the response you desire.
By definition, entrepreneurs do what we do because we want some control over our own destiny. And, it’s seldom about making tons of money; instead it’s about freedom first, then independence.
So, what happens after you’ve worked hard all your life and are now able to afford pretty much anything you have ever wanted, and you have simplified your life so you also have the time to enjoy it?
Most of the entrepreneurs I’ve known who have earned the second home, the sailboat, the several Porsches, or whatever, still go through huge guilt when they are playing instead of working. More importantly, most of their businesses run better without them now. In fact, I know one who’s Board of Directors paid him a bonus to “stay away”!
The problem with slowing down so we have time to reflect and rest, is that it’s in conflict with our normal way of being, which is to keep the nose to the grindstone, early to bed and early to rise, and all other teachings that cause us to worship the god of productivity.
Enjoying the idyllic life probably requires one to slow down, so you can “smell the flowers” and spend time as you wish, meeting your mood.
So, as I sit on my patio looking across a green, a lake, two fairways and many palm trees to the mountains five miles away, while enjoying my second cup of coffee, the nagging feeling that I should be accomplishing something overtakes me to the point of discomfort. It’s nothing short of guilt.
It doesn’t help to overcome the feeling with intellect, because guilt is an emotional response. That’s why knowing that it’s a waste of energy, time and talent doesn’t get rid of it.
According to Alan Weiss, author of Life Balance: How to Convert Professional Success Into Personal Happiness, many of us have the enervating belief that we must be "doing something" or we're somehow non-productive. Consider this: Thinking, reflecting, meditating, observing, remembering, visualizing, absorbing, resting, recharging, and enjoying are all "doing something." No harm, no foul.
The only way I’ve learned to manage guilt over the past seven years of wintering in the desert is to turn 65. Although I am not about to “retire”, this magic age allows me to spit into the face of guilt, and finally enjoy the idyllic life I’ve worked so hard to create. It’s not magic, but constant practice and self-talk works for me.
Perhaps the real question then, is “Why do we feel guilty?” Or, better yet, “What is the source of our guilt?” If it’s the way we were raised, probably by parents who lived through the Great Depression, then we know.
"What has been your biggest surprise discovery about the sales process in your firm?"
We invite you to share your personal experience.
How is your life and business being impacted by the decisions you’re NOT making?
Imagine a table in front of you. On it are all of the decisions you know you should make. Some are large, some are small. Some could have a profound impact on your business or your life, others are relatively insignificant. Some are freshly surfaced, and some have been waiting on your final call for a very long time.
How do you know which ones to act on? You act on every one you’re READY to act on.
Here are two key truths about decision making:
· When you put off important decisions, you are also putting off the business and personal success that you want but do not yet have.
· Anytime you decide something, you give up something. Decisions become paralyzing because of our unwillingness to experience the loss that is part of the process. Sometimes all you are really giving up is the option to change your mind, but that’s not always a small thing.
Courage Index
Decisions require courage because you cannot predict with certainty the outcome of your decision. From my personal experience, one of the toughest choices I’ve ever had make was to fire a business partner and then buy him out. I couldn’t anticipate his reaction. I didn’t even know if it would make things better. But I also knew I didn’t want to continue in the same situation. I had to make a move.
It took courage and commitment. All decisions do. One way you can test your level of commitment to taking action is by examining how you talk about the issue. If you catch yourself using the words “hoping”, “wishing” or “wanting”, what you’re really saying is “but I am not ready yet.”
Here’s a courage index that roughly translates your word choice to your level of desire:
I’m hoping: Beginning to desire to change
I’m wishing: Moderate desire to change
I want to: High desire to change
I’m committed to: Committing to make it happen, having a concrete plan
I will go to any length: Using every bit of leverage or opportunity to succeed
Here’s the bottom line. If you can’t muster up the “I’m committed” level of courage, don’t waste your energy stewing over the issue. You’ll only aggravate yourself. Mentally take it off the decision table until it becomes important enough for you to get bold. Focus your energy on what you are ready for. But remember that a decision postponed is often an opportunity postponed.
The above decision table and courage index was developed by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.
Bo Peabody’s mom used to always tell him, “Bo, you could go to Harvard or the local community college; no matter what, you’ll always get a B.”
Years later Peabody, author of Lucky or Smart: Secrets to an Entrepreneurial Life acknowledges mom was right. And his guess is that you’re a B-student as well, most entrepreneurs are. I wonder if you’ll see yourself in his definitions? He says:
B-students, don’t know everything about anything and are excellent at nothing. B-students do, however, know something about a lot of things, and they can complete almost any task with some modicum of competence. There is no one thing they do well. But there are many things they do well enough.
A-students, on the other hand, know a lot about one thing, whether it is technology or marketing or sales or finance. And they do this one thing extremely well. If they don’t do it well, it bothers them. A-students want to do things perfectly all the time. A-student traits are very bad for an entrepreneur, but very good for a manager. Your skills as a B-student, including impatience and an ability to think laterally, are vital to get a company off the ground. But as your company matures and you need structure, acute attention to detail and a longer attention span — it’s time to call in someone with complementary skills. As Peabody says, “In the end, the job of entrepreneurs is to attract, organize, and motivate A-student managers. And the only way we can do that is to realize, accept and embrace the fact that we are B-students. One B and a slew of A’s is a very good report card at any school.”
During a Creating the Rest of Your Life Workshop , my wife Cathy noticed that several of the participants were being very intense about learning everything she was teaching. As business owners, they were determined to make every second away from their busy work schedules be productive. They were working so hard that there was almost a palpable level of effort energy in the room. Cathy decided the class could use a break so she announced that the whole group was taking the afternoon off to ride the Duck. The DUKW (affectionately called 'the Duck') is an amphibious landing craft developed by the United States Army during World War II, now recycled into tour vehicles that show cities like Seattle from both land and water. When Cathy made the announcement, the most intense members of the class became vocal and agitated. They paid a lot of money and took their valuable time to come to this seven day retreat. They did not want to waste time or money doing some ridiculous tourist activity. They were there to learn how to connect to a passionate vision and take action towards their destiny – not take a break with a bunch of tourists. She insisted the whole group also needed to understand the value of having fun. It was a required part of their learning. Lights-On Learning™ creates energetic flow in life and work. When effort appears in any activity, it blocks the flow of energy and actually defeats action that’s aligned with vision. So, in resistance, they all went to the Duck Dock and boarded the Duck. Although they tried to keep their resistance alive and active, it became impossible. The captain was hilarious, and within a few minutes the whole class was laughing hysterically, forgetting their intense desire to not waste time on some frivolous activity that wasn’t fully productive. They returned to the workshop refreshed, connected and open to the flow of the rest of their week together. What was intense effort became energizing flow and relaxed learning and growing together. Although it’s been several years, just mentioning the Duck can create laughter among the people who were there. And, they continue to remember the importance of taking a break, relaxing and having fun on the journey. Of course, the moral of this story is evident. When you find your work becoming an effort, or hear yourself say the words “waste time”, it’s important to take a break; have some fun; generate some energy flow so the actions you take truly are productive. Those of you who have worked with a physical trainer have likely heard them say that you don’t want to workout every day. You need to take a break one or two days a week because your body needs a respite to grow and develop. The respite is as important as the workouts. The same is true for your mind and your spirit. If you have been accused of overdoing or of being a workaholic; if you find yourself feeling drained and exhausted but refusing to stop; if you ever hear yourself say “I can’t waste any time. The work has to be done.”; if you are not enjoying the activity, stand up and shout to the world: “I’m going to go RIDE THE DUCK!”
On Spring Break this week, I learned something about the power of reframing your game and the power of positive reinforcement.
I went golfing with my 11 year old son. Our previous attempts to play golf together could best be described as frustrating, both for him and me. John Henry is a very competitive young man and wants to win, which is good, so he is sharply focused on the score. It gets frustrating for him because he is a complete beginner right now and keeping score merely reminds him of how many times he hits a bad shot. Talk about negative reinforcement and punishment. At the same time, I can very easily see everything he is doing wrong and was unhelpfully pointing it out to him every time, increasing his anger. Before long we are growling at each other.
Wanting to avoid this scenario, I was desperate for a way to reframe the morning. It dawned on me, probably by divine intervention, that we should keep score differently. I told him, "I’m only going to keep track of your good shots and forget about your bad ones. Fortunately for him, his very first shot was right down the middle about 100 yards. “Good shot, John!” He was excited and he proceeded to hit two more good shots (out of 8 total) on the first hole. As we finished the hole I told him he got a score of 3 good shots. On the next hole he walked out to the tee and said “I’m going to get two more good shots on this hole,” and he did. By the time we got to the ninth hole, he was determining what a good shot was, not me. And we started to discuss what a good shot would look like before each shot. He finished the nine holes with a score of 16 good shots. He was calm, and felt good about his performance and even more important, I was calm also and was able to post a 40, counting all strokes of course.
I relate this story because it illustrates both the power of positive reinforcement and the importance, especially when learning something new, of focusing on what you do well instead of mistakes. Reframing the game for John turned a previously frustrating experience into a victory.
I’m looking forward to more enjoyable rounds with John Henry, and applying the lessons learned to all the new things I learn and the things I help others learn.
Just had to write up this post after reading the March Madness issue of Sports Illustrated today. You should pick it up, if only for the insightful article “Birth of a Dynasty” about John Wooden, the Wizard of Westwood and quite possibly the most successful basketball coach ever. The article, which chronicles his first championship season at UCLA, reminds us that he wasn’t so successful in his early years as the Bruins coach. We remember him mostly for the 10 national championships he won in the last 12 years of his career, not for the 16 seasons prior to that run, where while moderately successful , he lost all his NCAA Tournament Games.
To get to the gist of the article, without spoiling it for you, after a losing season in 1960, Wooden challenged himself and learned that his own inflexibility might be the obstacle to greatness. “He questioned himself and tinkered, and ultimately came to wisdom—and then victory on a scale unlikely to ever be matched.”
Three aphorisms that resonate loudly in the article:
“When you’re through learning, you’re through.”
“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”
“Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll ARGUE WITH YOU.”
And one more quote from a headstrong player:
"Wooden adapted to me as much as I did to him. Everyone else was afraid of him. He's admitted his stubbornness kept him from winning sooner and I was one of the people who opened his eyes because of how crazy I was."
Wooden would have been a great Inner Circle Member.
I just got turned on to an interesting website, one you’ll want to visit if you fancy yourself a bit of a futurist, are naturally curious about emerging trends, or are just looking for a breath of inspiration. Springwise and its global network of 8,000 spotters scan the globe for smart new business ideas and share them in easy-to-read snippets on the website.
As examples, the Marketing and Advertising portion of the Idea Database recently featured these trends: - 3.5 billion wire hangers are tossed into landfills every year, and that's just in the United States. While the hangers are light, inexpensive and sturdy, they're not exactly bio-degradable. Hanger Network has developed an alternative: a dry cleaner's hanger made entirely from recycled paper. These EcoHangers are sturdy and cheap. And because they're paper, they can be completely covered in full-color advertising. Everybody wins: Hanger Network creates a media network of up to 3.5 billion in-home “views”, and advertisers gain valuable entry into consumers' bedrooms for less than the price of a stamp.
- Brajackets are one of the hottest new trends in Japan. Made from high-quality, coated paper that makes designs and colors pop, Brajackets offer consumers a free cover to keep their book nice and neat and come with a built-in bookmark. They offer advertisers a space to advertise that goes everywhere readers do. They're available for free from stands in bookstores. New designs come out a few times a month, and the most popular ones are gone in a matter of days.
The site also describes trends in bikevertising (messages placed on fenders and mudguards of bicycles), sympvertising (infusing consumer advertising with a pinch of sympathy that acknowledges the tougher times most consumers are currently experiencing) and even passout marketing (adding branding to the handstamps applied to nightclub patrons). While it might not be appropriate or practical to jump on one of these bandwagons, you might just discover a gem that serves as a springboard for something that does fit your business.
The best way to build company culture is to do it in five-minute segments once a day. Perhaps you've heard of the "Ritz-Carlton Gold Standards." Each and every day at the Ritz, the entire staff meets in a five minute daily huddle to discuss a Gold Standard, one of twenty Gold Standards which are short statements about the core values of the Ritz-Carlton which everyone is expected to live up to. Every twenty days they repeat the process, ad infinitum. The rotating repetitive reminders really reinforce the core values of the company and establish the Ritz-Carlton culture.
Sounds great, right? But does it work in the real world of small and mid-size companies? Absolutely. Two of my Inner Circle clients recently started their own version after I passed along the Ritz-Carlton program at a meeting. Five minute huddles every day, a different principle each day. When all the principles are covered, start over.
Here's the proof that it works. An teenager ironed his pants for the first time.
The teenage son of the receptionist of one the members trying this, works in one of the restaurants he owns. She came home from work one day and found the iron and ironing board left out. Seems that the son, who she admits is something of a slob, used it to iron his uniform pants for work that day. She was incredulous and asked him what induced him to do something he had never done before. His response, “Mom, our daily huddle today was ‘Uniforms, Crisp and Clean’” "Uniforms, Crisp and Clean" is one of the statements he uses to convey the company core value of being presentable and professional for customers.
Both members spent lots of time developing the statements, and faced resistance at the initiation of their programs. Let’s face it; a daily five-minute meeting seems pretty silly. But after the initial round, everyone is happy. Morale is up, service is better, new employees get up to speed faster, and teamwork is enhanced. Lots of other training programs have been eliminated. And business is up! The reinforcing reminders really work!
There’s got to be something to this, if it can get a teenager to press his pants without being told.
A close friend has stepped into a maelstrom. Her job, finances and marriage seem to have simultaneously taken a downward turn. Oddly enough, though her life seems quite full of challenges, she has suddenly become obsessed with the idea of having a baby.
Another business acquaintance, at a critical stage in building his business, one in which he really needs to be out shaking hands and sharing coffee, has immersed himself in a new technology project that has him glued to his computer instead of his phone.
It’s an illogical but predominant instinct. Our lives become too full, our business hits a crucial fork in the road, and rather than carving out a spot of time so that we can think clearly or act definitively to resolve the issues we know we’re already facing, we add to the pile. We substitute, or confuse, activity for productivity.
“Distracted by distraction from distraction,” as T.S. Eliot once put it. We get so distracted that we are no longer conscious of being distracted, or don’t remember what it’s like not to be distracted.
These are smart people, making not so smart choices. It’s a behavior I’ve seen show up so frequently around me that I’ve become consumed with putting my finger on the “why” of it.
What’s your take on why they and so many other entrepreneurs fall into this trap?
If you’ve been reading my recent posts, you know that I am becoming a bit obsessed with the idea of discovering your strengths, both personally and organizationally and using them as the building blocks for growth. Seems pretty obvious. But we continually focus on our weaknesses, beating ourselves up over them, and spending inordinate amounts of time trying to shore them up. At what cost?
Yesterday I had coffee with a cohort who is an expert at improving performance, both with individuals and organizations. Here are a few quotes from our conversation that ring home with me and gave me some insight into why we shouldn't get so worked up about our weaknesses.
“No one ever beats the competition by getting good at what they do. You beat them by getting better than they are at what you are good at.” That’s quite a mouthful. Especially when you consider this next quote.
“You only have the capacity to be good at a few things. When you spend time working on improving a weakness, you end up weakening an existing strength. That strength just might be foundation of your current success.” Ouch!
I’m still thinking through all of this. One can’t just ignore our weaknesses and the strengths of our competitors. We need to be aware of them. But I am more convinced everyday that the way to address them is to work harder on what are strengths are.
Comments?
A question that I find particularly revealing to ask an entrepreneur is, “What is one behavior in your life that regularly sabotages you as a business owner?”
The answers are varied. Some individuals can’t say “no” to any request, some have to keep their fingers in every detail even though it bogs things down, and some procrastinate on making decisions. Each sabotaging behavior is rooted in a corresponding fear: people won’t like me if I refuse them, things won’t be done correctly if I don’t control them, and I’m not smart enough to make the right choice.
These sabotaging behaviors, or flaws, are most likely to reveal themselves in stressful conditions. And, interestingly, an individual’s biggest “flaw” is often his or her greatest strength being inappropriately applied. Empathy is a strength; being a pushover is not. Gathering facts and opinions and doing what you need to do to feel confident about a decision is smart; delaying your decision for so long that fate makes the choice for you is less than genius.
A behavior that I recognized in myself when I worked in the family business was that I always stopped short of confronting people. With the behavior recognized, I was then free to imagine, “What would situations look like if this behavior wasn’t there?” It meant there would be some tougher communication and some tense moments. However, it also meant that my employees would grow and flourish because they would get more honest feedback. And, after a period of adjustment, it meant a lot less stress for me.
Once you acknowledge and name the fears governing your actions you can define strategies for changing them. And it’s like ridding yourself of any bad habit, you don’t focus on what you want to stop doing, you focus on what you want to start doing in place of that default behavior that’s standing in the way of your success.
Last week some emails flew around one Inner Circle regarding a member’s problem with a poorly performing staff member. While all the advice was good, one email included an insightful analogy that makes so much sense that I wanted to share it. Here my paraphrase of Alan Greer’s “Babysitter” Analogy.
“There really aren’t any employees out there that will do things exactly like an owner, they didn't really shed blood, sweat and tears like you did. I even have an analogy for you. My analogy is this: You can't pay a babysitter enough to love your kids like you do. Now some babysitters genuinely cared for our kids and took the responsibility very seriously, but they didn't love our kids, they're a babysitter. Some babysitters did a poor job and we never asked them back, some babysitters did okay and we continued to use them but nothing special, then there were babysitters that the kids just adored and wanted them to come over even when my wife and I were home, now that's a great babysitter. Employees fall into categories like babysitters.”
What I like about Alan’s contribution is that it helps you acknowledge that trying to get employees to act like owners might be an unreasonable expectation. And it gives an easy to understand way of determining which employees are the ones to build your business with.
Which kind of babysitter do you have as employees?
The Acid Test: Finding Work that Feels Like Play
On a regular basis I encounter individuals who are floundering to find their life’s work. They may have lost steam for what they are currently doing and don’t know what they should pursue next, or they may have been presented to two enticing choices and are having trouble choosing.
I tell them to apply the acid test. That is, to answer the question, “What is the work you would do (purely for the pleasure of it) even if you were not being paid?”
Entrepreneurs do not always make more money than those in the corporate world. They seldom work fewer hours. The greatest payoff in being an entrepreneur is that you choose your own path. It’s pointless to choose one that doesn’t bring you joy.
Thanks to the Prouty Project (www.proutyproject.com) for this quote from Francois-Rene′ de Chateaubriand, that seems to sum it up:
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp line of distinction between his work and his play; he simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.”
I can think of no better definition for the life of an entrepreneur.
Seems like everywhere I turn in my reading and conversations recently I stumble across someone who, essentially, says, “Here’s a question I ask others all the time that always gets a powerful response and always leaves me feeling I know that person on a deeper level.” While I don’t think it’s effective to incorporate planned or rehearsed statements in a conversation, I do think that it can be very effective to have a small number of meaty questions in your arsenal and to consciously slip those into conversations on a regular basis to take discussions beyond the surface level. Here are some of my favorites:
Question One: How did you do that? This from the book Change the Way You See Everything, where authors Kathryn Cramer and Hank Wasiak advise that the most important question you can ask anyone after they have accomplished a task is, “How did you do that?” The question affirms the importance of the accomplishment but more importantly, it allows a person to reflect on what personal assets were tapped in order to succeed. Whenever you recognize or praise someone in this way, it lasts. The more common question that people ask is "Why did you do that?" That question sets the stage for a defensive explanation.
Question Two: How did you acquire that skill (or characteristic)? This is similar to the previous question, but has a different objective. One of the fastest and most effective ways to develop a skill is to shamelessly imitate someone who has already embodied the kind of change you want to make. Think of a skill or characteristic that you most want to develop in yourself. Now think of somebody that you know who demonstrates mastery in that area and can serve as a role model for you. Ask them questions about how they acquired the skill you’re seeking. Tell them you admire them and intend to imitate them. They will feel highly complimented. You may even want to enlist their informal coaching and feedback support. Then practice what you observe and learn and continue to return to them for feedback and advice.
Question Three: What else? If you’ve ever watched a skilled facilitator work a flipchart in front of a group, you’ll notice a little trick of the trade…as they capture an idea on the flipchart on one line they immediately put a bullet point on the following line. This gives a visual indicator to the group that there’s always time and room for one more answer. This is essential when brainstorming because the best answers often come late in the game, long after the obvious solutions have surfaced. You can do this verbally by asking, "what else?" When a conversation seems to have lost steam or reached a natural conclusion, it forces everybody to go one step deeper. And it provides one more open invitation to air an idea that might be percolating.
Question Four: What gives you satisfaction? This is an interview question that Mark DiMassimo, CEO of DiMassimo Brand Advertising asks of every single job applicant he speaks with. He says it is the most effective question he’s found for understanding a potential team member. He hands them a piece of paper and a pencil and asks them to make a list of ten things they’ve done in their lives that they remember with satisfaction. Here are the rules of the game: - The list shouldn’t include politically correct “interview answers.” He encourages them to be candid and authentic. “That ‘I broke up with my boyfriend’ could be an excellent answer,” he shares as an example.
- Five of the answers must come from before their 18th birthday, because those early successes reveal a lot.
He studies the lists, both with the prospective team member and after the interview, looking for themes, like courage, creativity, independence, adventure, rebellion, belonging and discovery. Once he has a sense of a candidate, he finds it much easier to match the satisfaction to the job and to anticipate from the beginning how things will go right and how things will go wrong with that person.
Question Five: What’s the most important thing we should be talking about today? In her book, Fierce Conversations, author Susan Scott offers advice about engaging others in meaningful conversations that move us closer to our stated business and life goals. One of her suggestions for initiating conversations that go deep and go there quickly is to set aside uninterrupted, one-one-one time and allow the other person to drive the agenda for the meeting. If you always drive the agenda, you may be missing something important. Here’s how she suggests you could set the stage:
"When we meet tomorrow, I want to explore with you whatever you feel most deserves our attention, so I will begin our conversation by asking, “What is the most important thing you and I should be talking about?” I will rely on you to tell me. If the thought of bringing up an issue makes you anxious, that’s a signal you need to bring it up. I am not going to preempt your agenda with my own."
No other style of communication is as effective in encouraging others to open up and engage with you as asking a question. A question is an invitation, by its nature, and requires a response. That's what makes asking a well-phrased, appropriately-timed question your most valuable tool for taking conversations and relationships below the surface.
Two weekends ago I went away for a long weekend to meet with other Inner Circle Facilitators to work on our businesses and play golf. I have a few takeaways from the meetings that I want to share:
--I need to work on my chipping and putting. Really bad. Only broke 90 once. Mostly because I chipped to the wrong places on the greens and then couldn't put away the downhill putt. Not that you are concerned about this.....
--Everyone spends too much time working on fixing what is wrong instead of working on improving what is going well. I know this seems fairly obvious, but we all fall into this trap regularly. We get so much feedback about what we do wrong that it's hard to avoid. It seems as though everyone is picking at our faults so that they get magnified so much that they become obstacles that seem insurmountable.
--The next time I get feeling this way, and it will happen, I'm going to try to follow the following steps to map out my next few weeks. This process is called "Appreciative Inquiry"
1. DISCOVER or rediscover my strengths and the things my organization does well (maybe just remind myself that these are my advantages
2. DREAM about what my business would look like if I was able to leverage those strengths to the max. (If I was really good at doing these things, what would a great day look like?)
3. DESIGN a plan to make sure you get to do the things you do well.
4. Execute the plan so that it becomes my DESTINY.
--I know that this seems awfully touchy feely for me. But I've been researching this since the symposium and I've been finding solid data that supports that organizations that work this way do much better than all the rest. I'm finding all kind of connections between this process and Jim Collins, book Good to Great which I am already a believer in. Marcus Buckingham seems to be the guru on this subject. I'm going to be working my way through his books over the next several months. Those books are: First, Break All The Rules; Now, Discover Your Strengths; and The One Thing You Need to Know. The reason I'm looking into this is that all of his books are based on solid research done by the Gallup organization, not just his own high falutin ideas.
--At the same time, we do have to look at our real obstacles, like competition and market condition, etc. But look to our strengths as the way to overcome them.
--That being said, I was a driving machine in Palm Springs. On my final two rounds, I was hitting every fairway off the tee, 220-250 yards. Building on that strength, should I be putting and chipping with my driver? ;-)
Just the other day I was meeting with a client to discuss his frustrations. All of them had to do with obstacles. His competition had more money so could get better pricing on product. The manufacturers were creating too many new products making purchasing a crapshoot. It was the slow season. An employee wasn’t making the proper effort.
Individually they didn’t seem so bad, but in total they seemed insurmountable. One by one we worked through the litany of depressing obstacles, trying to figure out what we could do about each problem. Not much, it seemed.
Totally worn out, we changed our discussion to what he and his business were good at. Seems there were one or two things he had definite advantages in. The conversation lightened up. We agreed that if he worked on doing what he did well and improving it, and then leveraging everything else off that, things didn’t look so bad. In fact they looked pretty good again.
My next conversation with him will be to ask him what his business would look like in a few years after succeeding at the things he does well. This should help him keep his obstacles under control.
An Inner Circle member brought it up at the meeting last week when she said she was feeling discombobulated. And why not? New granchild, a very close relative passing away, a key staff member leaving and moving away, with the holiday season on top of it all. I'm betting that all my members have felt discombobulated with the trials, both personal and professional, that face us regularly.
Come to think of it, I've been a bit discombulated the past three weeks or so, having taken the kids, without Meg, on a road trip to Michigan to visit my sister and then having the kids, with out Meg again, for five more nights so she could visit with her sisters at a wedding in Florida. Playing Mr. Mom is not for me. Took several days to get back into the rhythm of things.
There's that word again. Rhythm. For various assorted reasons we all get out of rhythm. Out of sync. Out of sorts. It just happens.
Getting back in-synk (excuse the pun, I couldn't resist) is a matter of getting back in rhythm. Getting back into a flow of things that make things feel more familar and comfortable. Finding that rhythm or structure or routine to your life that allows you the creativity you need to succeed. It sets you free.
There has been a lot of talk about this in my Circles this month. Just how much of your financials do you share with the people who work for you? And if you do, is it a help or a hindrance?
Here's my take on Open Book Management: As an entrepreneur, I'm pretty sure you use your financial statements to judge your company. It's not your only scoreboard, but it's an important one that helps you make good decisions. Why wouldn't you want your people working off the same scoreboard as you?
A foundational book on Open Book Management is The Great Game of Business by Jack Stack. Stack's basic premise is this: Your employees want to win, it's human nature to want to win. But in order for them to win you have to show them how to play the game and give them a way to keep score. And he advocates, from tangible experience, that your financials are great scoreboards and you can teach all of your staff members how to use these scoreboards to win the game you are trying to win with your company. Besides being practical, the book is
pretty darn inspirational. Jack's company, Springfield Remanufacturing Company remanufactures diesel engines; think of a company full of less-than-high-school-educated grease monkeys.
The risk, as I see it, is your people will come up with their own scoreboards to win a game they want to play, that may have little to do with the game you are playing. Don't you want alignment between their actions and your goals? Open Book Management is an effective way to do it. And an added benefit is that the burden of success is no longer just on your shoulders, it's spread out over the entire team.
Back to the original question: How wide do you open the books or how much to share? Wide enough that they can see the relationship between their actions and the results. That provides a lot a latitude. Crawl, walk, then run.
What are you comfortable sharing?
Don’t take “no” for an answer! That’s the sales mantra that used to run through my head as I sat down to make my daily sales calls, bracing myself for the rejection and objections I would inevitably face.
After all, it’s been said that buyers will say no at least five times before they say yes. And it was the approach I’d observed and experienced with other sales folks I’d encountered. If everybody else is doing it, it must work. Right? It’s a seductive fallacy to believe that sheer persistence will bring you sales; it’s more likely to bring you frustration and burnout.
I’ve come to realize that a “contrarian” approach to selling is more effective and gives me a greater sense of control. It's draining to feel like you're at the prospects mercy, groveling for a sale. Selling is not about talking people into doing something they don’t want to do. In fact, sometimes “no” is the best thing you can hear from a prospect.
Have you ever pursued a customer for weeks, months or even years because they showed some interest without making a sale? And do you now look back with regret and wish you had invested that more wisely? Consider these thoughts on the sales process:
- It’s Not a Closing Problem: Many business owners get hung up on the closing ratio of their sales staff, when that is seldom the real issue. Don’t confuse a closing problem for a qualifying problem. Are you selling to anyone who can fog a mirror, or have you put a specific set of criteria in place to systematically and diligently weed out less than ideal candidates? The right prospects close themselves. They gladly buy when there is a match between cost, value and need.
- Drive to No: Not only is “no” an acceptable answer, it’s actually better than a reticent “yes”. Make it easy for the prospect to say no instead of ignoring and overcoming every objection. Remember, each rejection you get past frees you up to search for the prospect this is the perfect fit for what you’re selling. At a minimum, get prospects to quantify early on how serious they are.
- Shift the Ownership: A prospect takes your card and agrees to call you and meet you for lunch next week. What do you do when they fail to call? Make a follow-up call yourself — maybe even two or three? Do you send more information and call again to see if they got it? While a certain amount of follow-up makes sense, you’re better off to move more quickly to a forthright approach like this: “I don’t want to pester you if this isn’t for you, so this will be my last call. If you decide later that this is something you want to act on, you have my number.” Once you’ve educated them about what you have to offer, let the prospect drive the sale.
- Retain a Sense of Exclusivity: Your product or service isn’t for everyone. Let your prospects know that you’re picky about who you take on as a client—that you want to screen out prospects that aren’t ready for what you have to offer—and suddenly what you have to offer is more desirable. Every business owner wants to be a step ahead of the competition. Separate yourself from the mainstream and you’ll create a brand that resonates with many consumers who want to stand out from the crowds themselves.
How many of the of prospects you've been chasing after should have been abandoned long ago?There's a time and a place for pursing someone with dogged determination, but, more often than not, a contrarian approach is a better choice for you and the target of your sales pitch.
Every business owner faces rejection on a regular basis. The way you face that rejection will both sap your energy and whittle away at your confidence … or it will place you in a position that remains powerful and protected.
I’ve often been credited with (or is it accused of) playing the role of the reluctant debutante when I recruit new clients or discuss renewal with existing clients, who make an annual decision about whether they want to continue enlisting my services. The essence of a reluctant debutante is to realize, and truly feel, that the client needs what you have more than you need them to buy it.
It’s based on the assumption that if I don’t care what their decision is, then I don’t suffer any loss. The attitude can come across as arrogant, so I have been forced to be very clear in my exit interviews with non-renewing clients. For example, when one of my female clients took a hiatus (which is often a euphemism for inadequate cash flow), I said, “while I respect your choice, I don’t like it, and all of us … you, I and the group will suffer from your absence. So, there will always be a spot waiting for you”.
Actually, the state of mind that I create within myself is one of “indifference” regarding the outcome, which allows my focus to be on the process alone. It relieves me of emotional attachment, which enhances my negotiating ability. Furthermore, in the prior example, I wasn’t getting paid anyway, so the loss was mitigated.
A helpful reminder is the little-used second verse of… “You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. After all, while it’s your water, it’s his thirst.”
In other words, a client’s choice about whether to buy my service is almost always a function of his current situation, usually cash flow, and hardly ever about my service. Again, in the prior example, the client returned within 18 months, and all is well.
So, why get all wigged out when she decides to wait until it’s comfortable?
Steve Craney, president and founder of RiverSide Electronics in Lewiston, MN. With decades of experience under his belt and the wisdom that comes with those years, he said this about gaining balance in his life and placing his family in a position of honor:
“The start-up phase of a business is intense. You can’t be half pregnant. When you start a business it’s a full-time plus commitment. You better be doing something you’re really passionate about, because it’s going to take everything you’ve got to get it going. But the minute that business becomes even a bit successful, you better be able to turn that passion for the business off for at least a few hours each day and focus on the other things that are important in life.”
The fact is that, as Barry J. Moltz, author of You Need to be a Little Crazy: The Truth about Starting and Growing Your Own Business, says, “Starting and running a business is a family event. Your business takes your family hostage.” Entrepreneurs who don’t acknowledge and deal with the reality of the strain a business puts on a spouse and on a family early on are likely to have the wake-up call forced upon them down the road in the form of divorce papers and a broken family. Here are two concrete actions that can help: Provide formal, regular updates. Your spouse is along for the ride, emotionally and financially. You might be tempted to take a protective stance provide shelter from some of the “low points” in the business. Your spouse will feel a greater sense of control and peace understanding the reality (even if it’s bad news) than they will by being kept in the dark. To some degree, you must treat your spouse as a stockholder. One of my clients recently held a dinner meeting, with an agenda and a full review of the financials, which included his business partner and both of their wives. They had a frank discussion about how, while revenue was up, cash flow was tight because of reinvestments into the business and because of natural delays in the collection process. At the end of the night they were a unified and reenergized team of four, not because the news was all great, but because the vision for the business had been revisited and the veil that had been covering up the details of how they would get to that end had been lifted, from the spouse’s perspective. Establish rules. The start-up phase of a business is all consuming. And it may seem like a “let-up” is right around the corner: next quarter will slow down, this new manager I’ve hired is going to take some of the pressure off of me, once I close this big client I’ll have some breathing room. Hog wash. One time demand will always be replaced by a new one. The white space you need in your life to maintain a balance with your family will only exist if you plan for it and create it. Establish hard and fast rules for when you will turn off your cell phone, how you will spend your weekends and which night you will be designated as date night. Separate yourself from the business. Owning a business is very personal. At some point, for every business owner, the business threatens to become who you are, but you are not, and never will be, your business. As Steve Craney says, “A friend helped me look at my business with a broader perspective. He helped me see that I’m not married to my business. It’s not one of my kids. They help me remain a little bit detached from the business — if someone were to come along and offer me enough money for the business, they can have it. That change in mindset was really refreshing.”
“As an outcome of that conversation, I decided that I wasn’t spending enough time with my two kids and I was going to set a personal standard for what that looked like in my life. In addition to the normal time I spent with them, I decided that I would make it a point to spend one week out of every year with each child. They would get to decide where. For a dozen years now I’ve had that privilege, one that I may be losing soon with my daughter who is at that age where she will be starting her own family soon. And it feels good to look back without regret and to have the memories of the time we went to Sweden together or our camping trips. My son and went to golf school together and soon we’ll be heading off to Costa Rica to see if we can’t catch a tarpon on a fly rod."
"When you do the math, that’s only 2% of my time that I’m setting aside to have that kind of experience with each of my kids, but if you don’t make it a priority it doesn’t happen."
Sometimes you find wisdom in unexpected places. Today’s “a-ha” moment came when I was reading the horoscope page. One horoscope in particular — not even for my astrological sign — struck a cord: “The difference between going with the flow and being passive is something only you know in your heart. One has to do with timing, and the other has to do with fear.”
All of a sudden there’s a spotlight shining on that tough conversation I’ve been putting off, that project that keeps getting shuffled to the bottom of the pile, and that staffing decision I know I need to make. Not one of those actions benefits from the passage of time. I do know it in my heart.
What are you putting off? And for what reason?
I recently caught an episode of Survivorman on The Science Channel. In this show Les "Survivorman" Stroud was abandoned in a remote location 400 miles north of the Arctic Circle and challenged to find his way back to civilization within seven days.
His only supplies are a broken-down snowmobile, a hunk of uncooked seal liver, a chunk of blubber for heat, a seal hook, three matches, a knife, a multi-tool, a rifle (to be used only to protect himself from polar bear attacks), 50 pounds of camera equipment and a harmonica.
Everything about the show is engrossing and, even with the fireplace on and a nice glass of Merlot poured, it’s hard not to feel his misery. A bit.
By day five, he has eaten his supply of seal meat and is chewing on the blubber that was intended to be burned as a heat source. At one point they calculate that Les has burned 35,000 calories and consumed only 1,000.
In my mind I’m assuming his biggest threat is outright starvation. Not so. A more imminent threat apparently comes from eating only lean meat without consuming any fat — it can quickly cause protein poisoning which manifests itself in the form of nausea, diarrhea, ketosis, severe debilitation and possibly death.
He had a lot of obvious things to be worried about, but I never would have thought he needed to be worried about that!
It’s the entrepreneur’s perpetual quandary — you battle fiercely against all of the elements you know, but it’s the one’s you didn’t even know where there that get you in the end.
The lessons? You don’t know what you don’t know. Eat a well balance diet, even if that means washing down your seal meat with a pinch of blubber. And figure out who your Les Stroud’s are, keep them on speed dial and check in with them even when you think you’ve got your bases covered.
As the nation prepares to lay former President Gerald Ford to rest, his friends, family and peers pause to answer the question, “What is the legacy Gerald Ford leaves behind?”
Several have honored him for a unique leadership trait -- seems Ford was renown for surrounding himself with people smarter than himself and for being willing, on a regular basis, to lay himself bare in front of them and ask them for their brutal honesty.
This man, who at one point in history held the ultimate position of power, was ready at any time to be told that he was wrong, that there was a detail he was overlooking or a nuance he had not considered. He had learned one of the entrepreneur's toughest lessons: you might be responsible for FINDING all of the answers, but you'll never HAVE all of the answers.
He kept those willing to tell him the truth close to him. Better to hear "tough news" from somebody on your team and face the facts while there might still be a chance make it right. As he described it, “I am a man who likes having critics who are not enemies.”
He understood the danger that leaders face when direct reports sanitize information, filter feedback and and under-report screw-ups in an effort to coddle the boss's ego. Ford created an environment in which a wart was called a wart without coyness or delay, making it easier to get quickly to the task of applying a remedy instead of wasting time and energy camouflaging it with makeup and hoping it would go away.
His cabinet members focused their energy on doing their jobs, not protecting his ego. And EVERYBODY was more effective because of it. As Jim Collins says, “The moment a leader allows himself to become the primary reality people worry about, rather than reality being the primary reality, you have a recipe for mediocrity, or worse.”
It’s an admirable trait, an admirable legacy, and an admirable man.
Will leaving room for critics, allowing the truth to surface quickly, be part of your legacy?
| |
