By definition, entrepreneurs do what we do because we want some control over our own destiny. And, it’s seldom about making tons of money; instead it’s about freedom first, then independence.
So, what happens after you’ve worked hard all your life and are now able to afford pretty much anything you have ever wanted, and you have simplified your life so you also have the time to enjoy it?
Most of the entrepreneurs I’ve known who have earned the second home, the sailboat, the several Porsches, or whatever, still go through huge guilt when they are playing instead of working. More importantly, most of their businesses run better without them now. In fact, I know one who’s Board of Directors paid him a bonus to “stay away”!
The problem with slowing down so we have time to reflect and rest, is that it’s in conflict with our normal way of being, which is to keep the nose to the grindstone, early to bed and early to rise, and all other teachings that cause us to worship the god of productivity.
Enjoying the idyllic life probably requires one to slow down, so you can “smell the flowers” and spend time as you wish, meeting your mood.
So, as I sit on my patio looking across a green, a lake, two fairways and many palm trees to the mountains five miles away, while enjoying my second cup of coffee, the nagging feeling that I should be accomplishing something overtakes me to the point of discomfort. It’s nothing short of guilt.
It doesn’t help to overcome the feeling with intellect, because guilt is an emotional response. That’s why knowing that it’s a waste of energy, time and talent doesn’t get rid of it.
According to Alan Weiss, author of Life Balance: How to Convert Professional Success Into Personal Happiness, many of us have the enervating belief that we must be "doing something" or we're somehow non-productive. Consider this: Thinking, reflecting, meditating, observing, remembering, visualizing, absorbing, resting, recharging, and enjoying are all "doing something." No harm, no foul.
The only way I’ve learned to manage guilt over the past seven years of wintering in the desert is to turn 65. Although I am not about to “retire”, this magic age allows me to spit into the face of guilt, and finally enjoy the idyllic life I’ve worked so hard to create. It’s not magic, but constant practice and self-talk works for me.
Perhaps the real question then, is “Why do we feel guilty?” Or, better yet, “What is the source of our guilt?” If it’s the way we were raised, probably by parents who lived through the Great Depression, then we know.
Monday, April 9, 2007Guilt and the Idyllic LifePosted by Norm at 3:22 PM Labels: N. Stoehr, Richer Life, Work Life Balance
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
|
1 comment:
Norm,
The problem is a complicated one, but it basically boils down to us wanting to have it all and do it all. We've lived in an era where the mainstream media and popular culture have repeatedly told us that we should be better and more efficient than the generation before us and that we can have anything we want and do anything we want if only we work harder and longer.
We fall into the trap of believing that it’s not only our right but our destiny to take advantage of every opportunity that falls into our laps. We wind up feeling that the only time we’re accomplishing anything of value is when we’re running from one event in our lives to the next. We’re lucky if we can pop our heads up on the weekends long enough to see what’s going on around us. We then put our blinders back on and plod ahead, often completely losing sight of who we are, what we’re doing, and why we’re doing it.
There is a clear societal epidemic of wanting to “have it all and do it all” without making any sacrifices or compromises. We want the “best” job offering the fastest track to the top, the highest pay, and the most attractive benefits package. We want plenty of free time to spend with our families and friends. We want community involvement—to join the interest groups of our choice and have enough time to actively participate. And last, but by no means least, we want to be able to discover and nurture ourselves—physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Many of us can't even turn off this programmed "drive" in the evenings and weekends. To turn it off in the twilight of our careers means that we're ready to cash in our chips.
Post a Comment