Stop Being Wilfull

So much exhaustion, pain and resentment can come from wishing things to be different than they are. You want your spouse to do things exactly as you think they should be done. You want your work/career to always follow a specifically defined path that you have created in your mind. You want your children or your employees to be a certain way, behave a certain way.

It is critical that you watch your attempts to will something to happen or to will someone to fit a specific mold of your design. This version of your will comes from your head. It does not come from a heart-connected vision. It’s an idea you made up in your mind; a way you think it should be. You are driving the idea willfully – “I’m in charge. It will happen according to my time line; according to the specific way I think it should be. I know my way is right.”

When effort enters it should become a big red alert with flashing lights that you are trying to push through an idea instead of following energy and flow. Willful is a push; following energy is a dance. Willful involves struggle, effort, and exhaustion. Following energy involves fun, grace and ease.

If you are expelling effort every day toward some ideal goal you have set, or toward having your spouse act according to your ideal plans, and it drains you, exhausts you, then each day can be a temperamental attack on your self and those you love. This willful push to direct your life is-self defeating and it doesn’t work.

Abraham Hicks says, “Tell everyone you know: ‘My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.’ Then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they are doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel – and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.”

When you find yourself efforting, it is important to change your focus to more energizing actions and behaviors, not should-do, exhausting, cranky-making chores. Give up control and find something to focus on that brings energy and flow into the moment. It can be anything that fires your heart, tickles your fancy, makes you laugh, and attracts flow into this moment.

Energetic flow equals joy. Willful struggle equals cranky. Your choice.