Finding Courage at the Decision Table

How is your life and business being impacted by the decisions you’re NOT making?

Imagine a table in front of you. On it are all of the decisions you know you should make. Some are large, some are small. Some could have a profound impact on your business or your life, others are relatively insignificant. Some are freshly surfaced, and some have been waiting on your final call for a very long time.

How do you know which ones to act on? You act on every one you’re READY to act on.

Here are two key truths about decision making:
· When you put off important decisions, you are also putting off the business and personal success that you want but do not yet have.

· Anytime you decide something, you give up something. Decisions become paralyzing because of our unwillingness to experience the loss that is part of the process. Sometimes all you are really giving up is the option to change your mind, but that’s not always a small thing.

Courage Index

Decisions require courage because you cannot predict with certainty the outcome of your decision. From my personal experience, one of the toughest choices I’ve ever had make was to fire a business partner and then buy him out. I couldn’t anticipate his reaction. I didn’t even know if it would make things better. But I also knew I didn’t want to continue in the same situation. I had to make a move.
It took courage and commitment. All decisions do. One way you can test your level of commitment to taking action is by examining how you talk about the issue. If you catch yourself using the words “hoping”, “wishing” or “wanting”, what you’re really saying is “but I am not ready yet.”

Here’s a courage index that roughly translates your word choice to your level of desire:

I’m hoping: Beginning to desire to change
I’m wishing: Moderate desire to change
I want to: High desire to change
I’m committed to: Committing to make it happen, having a concrete plan
I will go to any length: Using every bit of leverage or opportunity to succeed

Here’s the bottom line. If you can’t muster up the “I’m committed” level of courage, don’t waste your energy stewing over the issue. You’ll only aggravate yourself. Mentally take it off the decision table until it becomes important enough for you to get bold. Focus your energy on what you are ready for. But remember that a decision postponed is often an opportunity postponed.

The above decision table and courage index was developed by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

What Behavior Sabotages You?

A question that I find particularly revealing to ask an entrepreneur is, “What is one behavior in your life that regularly sabotages you as a business owner?”

The answers are varied. Some individuals can’t say “no” to any request, some have to keep their fingers in every detail even though it bogs things down, and some procrastinate on making decisions. Each sabotaging behavior is rooted in a corresponding fear: people won’t like me if I refuse them, things won’t be done correctly if I don’t control them, and I’m not smart enough to make the right choice.

These sabotaging behaviors, or flaws, are most likely to reveal themselves in stressful conditions. And, interestingly, an individual’s biggest “flaw” is often his or her greatest strength being inappropriately applied. Empathy is a strength; being a pushover is not. Gathering facts and opinions and doing what you need to do to feel confident about a decision is smart; delaying your decision for so long that fate makes the choice for you is less than genius.

A behavior that I recognized in myself when I worked in the family business was that I always stopped short of confronting people. With the behavior recognized, I was then free to imagine, “What would situations look like if this behavior wasn’t there?” It meant there would be some tougher communication and some tense moments. However, it also meant that my employees would grow and flourish because they would get more honest feedback. And, after a period of adjustment, it meant a lot less stress for me.

Once you acknowledge and name the fears governing your actions you can define strategies for changing them. And it’s like ridding yourself of any bad habit, you don’t focus on what you want to stop doing, you focus on what you want to start doing in place of that default behavior that’s standing in the way of your success.