Guilt and the Idyllic Life

By definition, entrepreneurs do what we do because we want some control over our own destiny. And, it’s seldom about making tons of money; instead it’s about freedom first, then independence.

So, what happens after you’ve worked hard all your life and are now able to afford pretty much anything you have ever wanted, and you have simplified your life so you also have the time to enjoy it?

Most of the entrepreneurs I’ve known who have earned the second home, the sailboat, the several Porsches, or whatever, still go through huge guilt when they are playing instead of working. More importantly, most of their businesses run better without them now. In fact, I know one who’s Board of Directors paid him a bonus to “stay away”!

The problem with slowing down so we have time to reflect and rest, is that it’s in conflict with our normal way of being, which is to keep the nose to the grindstone, early to bed and early to rise, and all other teachings that cause us to worship the god of productivity.

Enjoying the idyllic life probably requires one to slow down, so you can “smell the flowers” and spend time as you wish, meeting your mood.

So, as I sit on my patio looking across a green, a lake, two fairways and many palm trees to the mountains five miles away, while enjoying my second cup of coffee, the nagging feeling that I should be accomplishing something overtakes me to the point of discomfort. It’s nothing short of guilt.

It doesn’t help to overcome the feeling with intellect, because guilt is an emotional response. That’s why knowing that it’s a waste of energy, time and talent doesn’t get rid of it.

According to Alan Weiss, author of Life Balance: How to Convert Professional Success Into Personal Happiness, many of us have the enervating belief that we must be "doing something" or we're somehow non-productive. Consider this: Thinking, reflecting, meditating, observing, remembering, visualizing, absorbing, resting, recharging, and enjoying are all "doing something." No harm, no foul.

The only way I’ve learned to manage guilt over the past seven years of wintering in the desert is to turn 65. Although I am not about to “retire”, this magic age allows me to spit into the face of guilt, and finally enjoy the idyllic life I’ve worked so hard to create. It’s not magic, but constant practice and self-talk works for me.

Perhaps the real question then, is “Why do we feel guilty?” Or, better yet, “What is the source of our guilt?” If it’s the way we were raised, probably by parents who lived through the Great Depression, then we know.

The Acid Test

The Acid Test: Finding Work that Feels Like Play

On a regular basis I encounter individuals who are floundering to find their life’s work. They may have lost steam for what they are currently doing and don’t know what they should pursue next, or they may have been presented to two enticing choices and are having trouble choosing.

I tell them to apply the acid test. That is, to answer the question, “What is the work you would do (purely for the pleasure of it) even if you were not being paid?”

Entrepreneurs do not always make more money than those in the corporate world. They seldom work fewer hours. The greatest payoff in being an entrepreneur is that you choose your own path. It’s pointless to choose one that doesn’t bring you joy.

Thanks to the Prouty Project (www.proutyproject.com) for this quote from Francois-Rene′ de Chateaubriand, that seems to sum it up:

“A master in the art of living draws no sharp line of distinction between his work and his play; he simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.”

I can think of no better definition for the life of an entrepreneur.