Walking Off the Cliff

There are a lot of things they don’t tell you in business school about running your own business. Probably because they don’t want to scare you off.

There’s a lot of talk about needing to have marketing talent, financial savvy, an analytical mind and brilliant negotiation skills. What they don’t tell you is that most of all, you’re going to need a bottomless supply of courage.

When you start a company, if you’re like most, you feel like you’re walking off a cliff. You’re doing something you believe in, but that you’ve never done before. The unknown is scary, deep and, well, unknown. After a while, you get more comfortable as you successfully overcome obstacles and grow. Then, you hit a situation that is new — a transition to the next step of the business — like hiring a management team, opening a new location, or entering a new markets.

Then you realize, “walking off the cliff” the first time was only the beginning. There are many more stomach-in-your-throat moments to face.

Standing on the edge of a cliff, especially after you’ve survived the original leap, can be a very dangerous time. You might shy away from taking new risks because, unlike the situation at the beginning, you may have much more to lose now if you are wrong. Or, you know how to run the business as it is, but not how to run it as it will be.

Most companies cannot stay where they are; the force to grow is pulls at them like the tide pulls out the moon. So, the new “walk off the cliff” has to be taken at each transition point.

Author Barry J. Moltz sums it up in the title of his book, You Need to Be a Little Crazy: The Truth About Starting and Growing Your Own Business. He says, you not only need courage, you actually need to be a lunatic. “You need to be a lunatic who has a steadfast long-term belief in her vision — a lunatic who will try anything, ask anyone for everything, and see everyone as a source of help. You also need to be comfortable being alone in your beliefs because the only thing others will agree with you on is that you are indeed crazy.”

Only someone who is crazy, and courageous, and an occasional cliff jumper can survive the challenges and transitions that a business brings.

Flirting With Your Options

“Well, the good new is that I’ve hit bottom.” It was an ironic and honest way to start a conversation.

Facing some glum numbers in her business and, unjustifiably, feeling like it was all her doing, my dear friend was believing that the heavens were sending her a message: “You’re not fit to run this company. Step away from the corner office, the gold nameplate and the CEO title and nobody else gets hurt.”

Good gravy. Who hasn’t heard that tiny voice whispering in their ear before? And who hasn’t been tempted to surrender?

The truly good news was that several voices in the group meeting joined together in such a cacophony as to completely drown out that most un-heavenly message. She is fit to run the company. Did she have the desire to run it? That’s an entirely different question.

What was most interesting in the conversation was that it was clear this CEO felt she had just two choices: stay in the role or replace herself, and soon. That felt familiar too. The desire for closure and answers can pull on us so strongly that sometimes we’re draw to solutions simply because they’re fast and concrete. The group encouraged her to explore Plan B and from there even a Plan C, Plan D and more.

I was recently exposed to a lovely and useful metaphor that gave me a fresh way to frame this issue. It was time for that woman to FLIRT!

Adam Phillips, a British psychoanalyst, uses flirtation as a metaphor for playing with ideas and options, but not getting married, so to speak, to them. Flirtation encourages flexibility; it embraces playfulness. It calls for a mindset of exploring an issue as if it were brand new to you — letting your curiosity flow in that special way that it does on a really good first date.

As Phillips says, "Flirtation keeps things in play, and by doing so lets us get to know them in different ways."

For the CEO, it might mean giving up portions of her job, trying new leadership tactics, hiring a personal coach, or making adjustments to her management team. It could mean a LOT of things that fall far short of her actually stepping down from her role.

Flirtation is about experimenting with reversible options — smaller exploratory choices — not committing too quickly to what might be life-changing, over-earnest decisions. And it frees you up to take a bit of delight and pleasure in the uncertainty.

Is there a decision in your life or business that is would benefit from a flirtatious approach?

Distracted by Distraction

A close friend has stepped into a maelstrom. Her job, finances and marriage seem to have simultaneously taken a downward turn. Oddly enough, though her life seems quite full of challenges, she has suddenly become obsessed with the idea of having a baby.

Another business acquaintance, at a critical stage in building his business, one in which he really needs to be out shaking hands and sharing coffee, has immersed himself in a new technology project that has him glued to his computer instead of his phone.

It’s an illogical but predominant instinct. Our lives become too full, our business hits a crucial fork in the road, and rather than carving out a spot of time so that we can think clearly or act definitively to resolve the issues we know we’re already facing, we add to the pile. We substitute, or confuse, activity for productivity.

“Distracted by distraction from distraction,” as T.S. Eliot once put it. We get so distracted that we are no longer conscious of being distracted, or don’t remember what it’s like not to be distracted.

These are smart people, making not so smart choices. It’s a behavior I’ve seen show up so frequently around me that I’ve become consumed with putting my finger on the “why” of it.

What’s your take on why they and so many other entrepreneurs fall into this trap?

Horoscope Wisdom: Going with the Flow or Being Passive

Sometimes you find wisdom in unexpected places. Today’s “a-ha” moment came when I was reading the horoscope page. One horoscope in particular — not even for my astrological sign — struck a cord: “The difference between going with the flow and being passive is something only you know in your heart. One has to do with timing, and the other has to do with fear.”

All of a sudden there’s a spotlight shining on that tough conversation I’ve been putting off, that project that keeps getting shuffled to the bottom of the pile, and that staffing decision I know I need to make. Not one of those actions benefits from the passage of time. I do know it in my heart.

What are you putting off? And for what reason?