Finding Courage at the Decision Table

How is your life and business being impacted by the decisions you’re NOT making?

Imagine a table in front of you. On it are all of the decisions you know you should make. Some are large, some are small. Some could have a profound impact on your business or your life, others are relatively insignificant. Some are freshly surfaced, and some have been waiting on your final call for a very long time.

How do you know which ones to act on? You act on every one you’re READY to act on.

Here are two key truths about decision making:
· When you put off important decisions, you are also putting off the business and personal success that you want but do not yet have.

· Anytime you decide something, you give up something. Decisions become paralyzing because of our unwillingness to experience the loss that is part of the process. Sometimes all you are really giving up is the option to change your mind, but that’s not always a small thing.

Courage Index

Decisions require courage because you cannot predict with certainty the outcome of your decision. From my personal experience, one of the toughest choices I’ve ever had make was to fire a business partner and then buy him out. I couldn’t anticipate his reaction. I didn’t even know if it would make things better. But I also knew I didn’t want to continue in the same situation. I had to make a move.
It took courage and commitment. All decisions do. One way you can test your level of commitment to taking action is by examining how you talk about the issue. If you catch yourself using the words “hoping”, “wishing” or “wanting”, what you’re really saying is “but I am not ready yet.”

Here’s a courage index that roughly translates your word choice to your level of desire:

I’m hoping: Beginning to desire to change
I’m wishing: Moderate desire to change
I want to: High desire to change
I’m committed to: Committing to make it happen, having a concrete plan
I will go to any length: Using every bit of leverage or opportunity to succeed

Here’s the bottom line. If you can’t muster up the “I’m committed” level of courage, don’t waste your energy stewing over the issue. You’ll only aggravate yourself. Mentally take it off the decision table until it becomes important enough for you to get bold. Focus your energy on what you are ready for. But remember that a decision postponed is often an opportunity postponed.

The above decision table and courage index was developed by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

Do You Have an A-Student Who Will Help You Pass the Test?

Bo Peabody’s mom used to always tell him, “Bo, you could go to Harvard or the local community college; no matter what, you’ll always get a B.”

Years later Peabody, author of Lucky or Smart: Secrets to an Entrepreneurial Life acknowledges mom was right. And his guess is that you’re a B-student as well, most entrepreneurs are. I wonder if you’ll see yourself in his definitions? He says:

B-students, don’t know everything about anything and are excellent at nothing. B-students do, however, know something about a lot of things, and they can complete almost any task with some modicum of competence. There is no one thing they do well. But there are many things they do well enough.

A-students, on the other hand, know a lot about one thing, whether it is technology or marketing or sales or finance. And they do this one thing extremely well. If they don’t do it well, it bothers them. A-students want to do things perfectly all the time.

A-student traits are very bad for an entrepreneur, but very good for a manager. Your skills as a B-student, including impatience and an ability to think laterally, are vital to get a company off the ground. But as your company matures and you need structure, acute attention to detail and a longer attention span — it’s time to call in someone with complementary skills.

As Peabody says, “In the end, the job of entrepreneurs is to attract, organize, and motivate A-student managers. And the only way we can do that is to realize, accept and embrace the fact that we are B-students. One B and a slew of A’s is a very good report card at any school.”

Always Take Time to Ride the Duck

During a Creating the Rest of Your Life Workshop , my wife Cathy noticed that several of the participants were being very intense about learning everything she was teaching. As business owners, they were determined to make every second away from their busy work schedules be productive. They were working so hard that there was almost a palpable level of effort energy in the room.

Cathy decided the class could use a break so she announced that the whole group was taking the afternoon off to ride the Duck. The DUKW (affectionately called 'the Duck') is an amphibious landing craft developed by the United States Army during World War II, now recycled into tour vehicles that show cities like Seattle from both land and water.

When Cathy made the announcement, the most intense members of the class became vocal and agitated. They paid a lot of money and took their valuable time to come to this seven day retreat. They did not want to waste time or money doing some ridiculous tourist activity. They were there to learn how to connect to a passionate vision and take action towards their destiny – not take a break with a bunch of tourists.

She insisted the whole group also needed to understand the value of having fun. It was a required part of their learning. Lights-On Learning™ creates energetic flow in life and work. When effort appears in any activity, it blocks the flow of energy and actually defeats action that’s aligned with vision. So, in resistance, they all went to the Duck Dock and boarded the Duck.

Although they tried to keep their resistance alive and active, it became impossible. The captain was hilarious, and within a few minutes the whole class was laughing hysterically, forgetting their intense desire to not waste time on some frivolous activity that wasn’t fully productive.

They returned to the workshop refreshed, connected and open to the flow of the rest of their week together. What was intense effort became energizing flow and relaxed learning and growing together. Although it’s been several years, just mentioning the Duck can create laughter among the people who were there. And, they continue to remember the importance of taking a break, relaxing and having fun on the journey.

Of course, the moral of this story is evident. When you find your work becoming an effort, or hear yourself say the words “waste time”, it’s important to take a break; have some fun; generate some energy flow so the actions you take truly are productive.

Those of you who have worked with a physical trainer have likely heard them say that you don’t want to workout every day. You need to take a break one or two days a week because your body needs a respite to grow and develop. The respite is as important as the workouts. The same is true for your mind and your spirit.

If you have been accused of overdoing or of being a workaholic; if you find yourself feeling drained and exhausted but refusing to stop; if you ever hear yourself say “I can’t waste any time. The work has to be done.”; if you are not enjoying the activity, stand up and shout to the world: “I’m going to go RIDE THE DUCK!”

Reframe the Game

On Spring Break this week, I learned something about the power of reframing your game and the power of positive reinforcement.

I went golfing with my 11 year old son. Our previous attempts to play golf together could best be described as frustrating, both for him and me. John Henry is a very competitive young man and wants to win, which is good, so he is sharply focused on the score. It gets frustrating for him because he is a complete beginner right now and keeping score merely reminds him of how many times he hits a bad shot. Talk about negative reinforcement and punishment. At the same time, I can very easily see everything he is doing wrong and was unhelpfully pointing it out to him every time, increasing his anger. Before long we are growling at each other.

Wanting to avoid this scenario, I was desperate for a way to reframe the morning. It dawned on me, probably by divine intervention, that we should keep score differently. I told him, "I’m only going to keep track of your good shots and forget about your bad ones. Fortunately for him, his very first shot was right down the middle about 100 yards. “Good shot, John!” He was excited and he proceeded to hit two more good shots (out of 8 total) on the first hole. As we finished the hole I told him he got a score of 3 good shots. On the next hole he walked out to the tee and said “I’m going to get two more good shots on this hole,” and he did. By the time we got to the ninth hole, he was determining what a good shot was, not me. And we started to discuss what a good shot would look like before each shot. He finished the nine holes with a score of 16 good shots. He was calm, and felt good about his performance and even more important, I was calm also and was able to post a 40, counting all strokes of course.

I relate this story because it illustrates both the power of positive reinforcement and the importance, especially when learning something new, of focusing on what you do well instead of mistakes. Reframing the game for John turned a previously frustrating experience into a victory.

I’m looking forward to more enjoyable rounds with John Henry, and applying the lessons learned to all the new things I learn and the things I help others learn.

Gems From the Wizard of Westwood

Just had to write up this post after reading the March Madness issue of Sports Illustrated today. You should pick it up, if only for the insightful article “Birth of a Dynasty” about John Wooden, the Wizard of Westwood and quite possibly the most successful basketball coach ever. The article, which chronicles his first championship season at UCLA, reminds us that he wasn’t so successful in his early years as the Bruins coach. We remember him mostly for the 10 national championships he won in the last 12 years of his career, not for the 16 seasons prior to that run, where while moderately successful , he lost all his NCAA Tournament Games.

To get to the gist of the article, without spoiling it for you, after a losing season in 1960, Wooden challenged himself and learned that his own inflexibility might be the obstacle to greatness. “He questioned himself and tinkered, and ultimately came to wisdom—and then victory on a scale unlikely to ever be matched.”

Three aphorisms that resonate loudly in the article:

“When you’re through learning, you’re through.”

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

“Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll ARGUE WITH YOU.”

And one more quote from a headstrong player:

"Wooden adapted to me as much as I did to him. Everyone else was afraid of him. He's admitted his stubbornness kept him from winning sooner and I was one of the people who opened his eyes because of how crazy I was."

Wooden would have been a great Inner Circle Member.

The Next Big Thing: Brajackets and Bikevertising?

I just got turned on to an interesting website, one you’ll want to visit if you fancy yourself a bit of a futurist, are naturally curious about emerging trends, or are just looking for a breath of inspiration. Springwise and its global network of 8,000 spotters scan the globe for smart new business ideas and share them in easy-to-read snippets on the website.

As examples, the Marketing and Advertising portion of the Idea Database recently featured these trends:

• 3.5 billion wire hangers are tossed into landfills every year, and that's just in the United States. While the hangers are light, inexpensive and sturdy, they're not exactly bio-degradable. Hanger Network has developed an alternative: a dry cleaner's hanger made entirely from recycled paper. These EcoHangers are sturdy and cheap. And because they're paper, they can be completely covered in full-color advertising. Everybody wins: Hanger Network creates a media network of up to 3.5 billion in-home “views”, and advertisers gain valuable entry into consumers' bedrooms for less than the price of a stamp.

• Brajackets are one of the hottest new trends in Japan. Made from high-quality, coated paper that makes designs and colors pop, Brajackets offer consumers a free cover to keep their book nice and neat and come with a built-in bookmark. They offer advertisers a space to advertise that goes everywhere readers do. They're available for free from stands in bookstores. New designs come out a few times a month, and the most popular ones are gone in a matter of days.
  

The site also describes trends in bikevertising (messages placed on fenders and mudguards of bicycles), sympvertising (infusing consumer advertising with a pinch of sympathy that acknowledges the tougher times most consumers are currently experiencing) and even passout marketing (adding branding to the handstamps applied to nightclub patrons).

While it might not be appropriate or practical to jump on one of these bandwagons, you might just discover a gem that serves as a springboard for something that does fit your business.

A Core Value a Day...Produces Pressed Pants

The best way to build company culture is to do it in five-minute segments once a day. Perhaps you've heard of the "Ritz-Carlton Gold Standards." Each and every day at the Ritz, the entire staff meets in a five minute daily huddle to discuss a Gold Standard, one of twenty Gold Standards which are short statements about the core values of the Ritz-Carlton which everyone is expected to live up to. Every twenty days they repeat the process, ad infinitum. The rotating repetitive reminders really reinforce the core values of the company and establish the Ritz-Carlton culture.

Sounds great, right? But does it work in the real world of small and mid-size companies? Absolutely. Two of my Inner Circle clients recently started their own version after I passed along the Ritz-Carlton program at a meeting. Five minute huddles every day, a different principle each day. When all the principles are covered, start over.

Here's the proof that it works. An teenager ironed his pants for the first time.

The teenage son of the receptionist of one the members trying this, works in one of the restaurants he owns. She came home from work one day and found the iron and ironing board left out. Seems that the son, who she admits is something of a slob, used it to iron his uniform pants for work that day. She was incredulous and asked him what induced him to do something he had never done before. His response, “Mom, our daily huddle today was ‘Uniforms, Crisp and Clean’” "Uniforms, Crisp and Clean" is one of the statements he uses to convey the company core value of being presentable and professional for customers.

Both members spent lots of time developing the statements, and faced resistance at the initiation of their programs. Let’s face it; a daily five-minute meeting seems pretty silly. But after the initial round, everyone is happy. Morale is up, service is better, new employees get up to speed faster, and teamwork is enhanced. Lots of other training programs have been eliminated. And business is up! The reinforcing reminders really work!

There’s got to be something to this, if it can get a teenager to press his pants without being told.